All change

My life has been completely turned upside down.

In April, my husband died. It was a massive shock and completely unexpected. He suffered a coronary thrombosis and died instantly.

Although we had been apart for a couple of years, we hadn't yet got divorced. This led to numerous problems arranging the funeral, since I was still listed as his next of kin. I had to write several letters giving his girlfriend of the time authority to arrange the funeral, etc.

My stepson, who'd been living with his dad and his dad's girlfriend and her child, came to live with me straight away. Although I'd been planning for him to come and live with me and working towards it, having it happen all of a sudden was a massive shock and adjustment, and cost a considerable amount of money in buying things for him, primarily furniture.

After three months being with me, my stepson's birth mum got in touch out of the blue. She hadn't been in contact for about 4 years, and my ex had told stepson that she had said she wasn't interested. However we now discovered that in fact, ex had not given her their new contact details when they moved house, and she had been trying to get in touch for a while, even travelling up and going to our old house and asking neighbours if they knew where ex had gone. She wasn't even aware that we'd split up.

I took stepson down to visit her for a couple of weeks, and he decided that he wanted to go and live down there with her for good. So that's what we did, packing up all his stuff and taking him down there. More travel! I've probably put 3000 miles on my car in the last three months, and I normally only do around 8000 a year...

So I've gone from relatively-carefree single 30-something, to single mother and widow, and back to single 30-something again in the space of 3 months.

It's all a bit of a shock to the system, and means my priorities are completely upside down. I'm going to have to rethink all my goals and plans. And I've no idea where I am with my loan. I've had a couple of late charges because everything's been so disorganised :(

I've also stopped working at my online job, I've had so little time. I'm still doing some work for them but not the main part of it. Although this cuts my incoming money, I've got plenty of time back that I can do overtime at my main job, and with the dollar/pound strength, I only have to put in 5 hours at my regular job per week to cover what it takes me 12-15hrs only to make. Plus it means I don't have to muck about with tax returns, etc.

In other news, I'm still seeing the fella that I started seeing back in March. He's been very very supportive over the last few months. He's currently living in a 1-bed flat in Derby, but we're talking about getting a place together when his lease expires in January. I know I said I'd never live with anyone again, but he's so easy-going, and he respects my need for "alone time". And he's not put off by the fact that my Mum comes as part of the package, so blimey, hehehe.

Well, this isn't good.

Yesterday I ticked off No.1 on my to do list, which was to reinstall the network and modem on my desktop, then get the case back together.

I managed to do this (after about 10 attempts, because Ticali's install procedure is pants), and was feeling dead chuffed with myself.

This morning, however, I rebooted the machine and after about an hour got a BSOD (blue screen of death.) And then on restarting, I could not connect to the internet, nor even access the network management program.

So I need to decide what to do with it. At this precise moment, opening the french "mock balcony" doors in my bedroom and hurling it into the street is sounding good. If it happens to coincidentally smash through the windscreen of the stupid chav who keeps burning his pimped-out 4x4 up and down the road, then that will be a bonus.

March To Do List

Reinstall network and internet to main PC and reassemble case.
Finish alphabetising books and listing on Amazon.
Resume listing comics.
Investigate ebooks/software listings.
Record LPs to MP3.
Start work on next creative project.

Fixed?

Well, I haven't updated for a while, primarily because I did decide to get a new laptop, through oyyy.co.uk, for which I got cashback on top of a good price anyway.

I've managed to ascertain the fault on my PC, which I'm pretty chuffed about, since a) it hasn't cost me anything and b) I didn't break it!

However this does mean that my desktop is currently off the network. I need to reinstall the network to it... must get that done this week!

There are a few tasks I've been putting off, and not getting as much done as normal, as I have met someone new. Which as everyone knows, is a total time suck, and a big part of the reason why I famously Don't Do Relationships. So this is a very casual thing, and will remain so.

That said, the energy and enthusiasm boost that goes with a new relationship (whether casual or serious) do tend to help one's everyday attitude, and I've certainly been doing well at work, scooping a 3% payrise, 3% cash bonus, and a new development plan to shadow my boss's boss. Win!

Photo credit: clix

Something's wrong with blogger...

...I can't update my sidebars or anything. Try again later.

Computer woes

I've been having PC problems for quite some while now.

Here's what I've been mulling over.

PROBLEM
PC suffers from intermittent fault causing BSOD with varying error messages.This fault can occur during program use or even when the PC is completely idle.
Only way to resolve this is to flash the BIOS.This impacts every time I need to reboot the PC, for example after a Windows update release or (un)installing software or hardware.
This can cause a stressful "race" where I try to flash the BIOS via the Windows tool before the machine hangs up - which then causes another restart and another race.
It also means that I cannot turn the PC off at night, I have to put it in standby instead, which is a power drain.

CAUSE
UNKNOWN.
Probably relating to a base hardware component - for example, the memory sticks (replaced already, so unlikely), the video card, or the motherboard itself.
Could also be caused by hard drive failing... unlikely though... as a BIOS flash should not affect the HD.

POSSIBLE RESOLUTIONS
REPLACE WHOLE SYSTEM.
Obviously the most costly option. At least £500. Would need to budget for up to £750.
PRO:

• Easiest option


• Quickest option (can keep existing system until new one arrives)


• Under warranty

CON:

• Expensive!


• Leaves me with bits and bobs to dispose of


• Would have to buy a new copy of XP AND Vista (if I want dual boot) because the existing system is OEM

GET A LOCAL TECHIE TYPE TO BUILD ME A NEW SYSTEM
Less expensive (probably) than buying one from a shop, but still around the £500 mark.
PRO:
As above, plus

• Supporting local business

CON:
As above

TAKE MACHINE FOR REPAIR.
Price could be anywhere from £50 to £250 (if components are needed.)
PRO:

• Cheaper than a new system


• Supporting local business


• Can use recommendation from Sheff Forum

CON:

• Unspecified time away - losing money all the while


• Intermittent fault - no guarantee of finding it first time


• They will probably want to reformat the machine - drag

TRY TO REPAIR IT MYSELF
Cost - components only (if needed)
PRO:

• Cheapest option


• Will build knowledge and confidence

CON:

• Don't have any experience


• If I break something - could end up having to send it to someone else for repair - losing time


• OMG teh clumsies!


• No guarantee of fixing it

BUY A LAPTOP
Cost - around £350 + wireless adapter (£20)
PRO:

• Always have a fallback solution


• Use anywhere - take on holiday, etc


• Mum can check email and surf while I'm working/sleeping


• Could use laptop to run overnight jobs while I sleep (maybe, depends on power)


• Can run network and use as a virtual HD


• Can use as a DVD player in bed/car

CON:

• Expense

DO NOTHING
Cost - nothing financially - unless whole system fails
PRO:

• No cost - until whole system goes down


• No loss of time/productivity

CON:

• Does nothing for peace of mind and adds to stress


• Adding new hardware/big software is a major hassle


• Cannot partition drive and/or dual-boot


• Possible sudden total failure - money and time cost


• No portability
  

The main issue for me is that my PC isn't something I just use for checking emails or playing games. It's the main tool I use in my business. If I'm without it for more than a couple of days, I'm losing income. Sure I can use public internet or surf from work to check my mails and so on, but I can't do software testing or product development.

The spectre of my PC going completely tits up is starting to weigh more heavily on my mind. It weighs heavier each time I have to reboot the damn thing. Additionally, I have avoided making several customisations to it purely because of this problem.

I am currently leaning towards a two-pronged approach to this problem.

1. Buy a new laptop with a reasonable spec - enough for me to run, say, Poser, and preferably Photoshop as well. Although I could always run Gimp, which is free, as a graphics editor, on an interim basis. That would cost somewhere between £250-£350, and I can probably get a cashback deal to bring that price down.

2. When my new laptop is arrived and all set up, have a go at repairing the desktop myself. I have a couple of things which I can try. However, I don't want to start this process UNLESS I know for sure that I have a working alternative in case I break something fatally. If my attempts to fix the problem fail, then I will probably go along the lines of taking it to someone locally.

My resolve to do this has been increased recently due to re-reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. My intention centres around the concepts of peace of mind, and the desirability of being one's own mechanic.

If I decide to do this now, I will cancel the camera fund for now and forego a month of ISA saving.

Image credit: winjohn

Goal achieved!

Great news today as I have achieved my USB turntable goal (£60) with the help of another Amazon sale, and I also got paid so have moved my overtime pay into the ISA.

I have uploaded a new product to my store, so just waiting for that to be tested now, which will probably take a week. I already have some ideas for my next project too, but will give myself a bit of a break first.

I'm about 75% of the way through listing my comics. That's really a longer-term project as I will need to advertise them and can't expect a quick return. I registered a good domain name for them so hopefully once I've sold the bulk I can then turn around and sell the domain for a profit!

I also have a £40 profit pending from a nice little loophole I was told about last week, so once that's in the account I will be adding it to the next fund, which is the camera. Hopefully I should be able to fund that by the time we go to Kefalonia in September!

Image credit: Zela

Confusing turn of events

When I spoke to littl'un last night on our regularly nightly phone call, he said that he had been talking to his head of year at school, and the school have decided to put litt'un onto alternative curriculum.

I had never heard of this but it's basically a system where kids who have special educational needs and behavioural challenges are put on a different learning program where they purely concentrate on english, maths and science, but also do a lot of vocational-type stuff.

This is basically a last-ditch effort by the school not to fail the pupil completely. Like they're saying "Ok, there is absolutely no chance that you are going to pass any GCSEs the way you're going, plus you're disrupting all the other kids, so let's cut out losses, concentrate on what's possible, and try to keep you occupied in the school system instead of excuding you."

This is effectively what I was going to be aiming for in his last year anyway as I had made up my mind that when he came to live with me for his last year of school I would get him a tutor for maths and english and just concentrate on trying to get him a pass in those subjects. Obviously this system would be way better as he would not have any other lessons, plus he would have far more individual help and support from the teaching staff.

The staff appear to be aware that his dad cannot be counted on for support at home, from what was said.

The major hurdle for me is that this means he would have to stay in Cardiff until he's finished his GCSEs, which is an extra year before he comes to live with me :(

My chances of getting him on this program within my hometown are minimal; this program, from what I can tell, is decided on where there's a history of bad behaviour and achievement within the school. It's also linked to the local area since they have ties with local colleges and businesses for the vocational stuff, and different schools run their programs in different ways. So he's not going to be able to just turn up here and be able to go into something like this. And obviously, once he's on it, he'll have to stay on it - he can't go back to regular schooling after doing this for a year.

Ex doesn't yet know about this - littl'un hadn't told him when we spoke last night, he was waiting for his dad to just get a letter about it. I'm going to wait until he's had that, and then ring and talk to him about it.

I'm also thinking that I may take a couple of days off in half term (mid-Feb) and go down for a couple of days and talk to Ex then, in detail, about him supporting littl'un through this. My major concern is littlun's relationship with his dad's new partner: so far this has been very adversarial, so I need to somehow convince ex to tackle her attitude and make sure littl'un doesn't have any easy excuses for, e.g., not doing homework.

I've got to be sure this is going to work for two years. Then he can come to me afterwards. I suppose if the worst came to the worst and he still failed, I could get him up here and with some private tuition arrange for him to re-sit them privately. It's expensive, but it could be done.

I've got to do the thing that's best for him. But bloody hell, I miss him so much already. Another 2.5 years :( This was what was really firing me up to pay off my debt quickly. Now that's going to be gone. I've got to keep the focus on and concentrate on keeping it going so that I'll have savings by the time he comes to me. Sigh.

Photo credit: ba1969

Busy busy busy

It's been really busy at both my jobs for the last week or so.

We've been having a lot of system problems at my full time job which have taken a lot of time to resolve, and really slowed us down.

Online, two of my colleagues have been off sick and another has been out of town, so I've been pretty busy there, too. I've been trying to work on my new store product, and I've got quite far, but I just have little nagging things to fix now before I package it all up.

I have a full weekend off this week so I aim to get it all finished then.

In other news, I spent £19.95 today on an ornamental indoor fountain, primarily for the benefit of my cats!! I find it pretty easy to be frugal on my own behalf*, but much harder to stop spending on my loved ones. It's hard for me to let go of the belief that spending money on someone shows your love.

*Nowadays...

Photo Credit: hbrinkman

Interesting article

Stanford magazine has a very interesting article about neurochemistry and how it affects our shopping habits.

The Lurgey

I've been down for the last few days with a horrendous cold and cough. It's been so bad that I had to take last Thurs and Friday off work, which I hate doing, but there was just no way I could function. I spent about 20 hours out of 24 in bed from Thursday to Saturday.

Thankfully I was feeling a lot better yesterday, and am well enough today to return to work. But it does mean that I've fallen behind on my creative project, and with my comic listings.

On the plus side, I completed my tax return for last year, and should be due a rebate of over £600. I'll be diverting about £100 of that to pay for a new external hard drive which I need urgently - having run out of space on my other one! - but the remainder will be going in my ISA, I think, because I reckon next year's tax will leave me with a bill, as my self-employed earnings have gone up significantly for 2008-09.

The light at the end of the tunnel

Some fantastic news to start the year.

This morning I went to the bank and paid £2260 off my loan.

This puts me at 45% of my 2009 payoff target (5k) already!

I asked the nice cashier lady to check what the balance on this loan was. There was then some faffing about as she couldn't initially work out how to access this info, and then she had to confer with a colleague as to whether the amount shown would include the payment she'd just recorded, or not. Poor thing, she already looked to be having a hot flush and my request really didn't help! However, I cannot feel guilty about this as I am in too good a mood, since my capital on the loan is now down to £13481!

I am a bit crap about working out APR and so on, but basically this loan was over a 7 year term, and I took it out last December (consolidation of other existing debts and better interest rate.) So within the first 13 months I have paid off 36% of the total value of the loan, when I would normally expect it to be around 20%... I think. No... wait. Damn. Like I say, I'm not totally sure of myself when working out APR and I don't have the documents with me to check the exact interest rate on it. But, whatever the exact amounts, I'm bloody happy!

I am now seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. In fact I can see it in my mind's eye so vividly that it's almost a physical picture! I've stopped thinking of debt as being a permanent state and just an extra expense every month to live with, and started seeing it as a temporary, unwelcome state of affairs which I can actively manage.

Obviously this isn't a regular month's payoff! This is an accumulation of several months' saving, Xmas bonus, money I'd budgeted for Xmas but didn't spend, and my online December pay. I won't be able to do this regularly! However, I'll be keeping the pressure on myself and not getting complacent. My budget for the rest of this year plans for £500 overpayment a month, except for September (holiday in Kefalonia) and December (Xmas budget.) Hence, my goal for this year being £5k. I shall be doing my utmost to exceed that goal by as much as I can!